Dear #calypso #circe #god #satan #samael #veil what the fuCK EVER.
I’m really so upset. My heart is so broken. When we met I told you who I was #traveler and you accepted me. I took my step of courage in that moment. You either changed…. or you aged out of the great #game.
YOU have answered every single prayer I have ever prayed. Up to the point that I’m terrified to go out of my house or have a glass of tequila.
I’am so broken.
I accept responsibility for 50.1% of all of the shit of my life. But either way. I told you who I was when I met you.
And yes. I took the glass of clear tequila and also took your thc pen when we met. You love bombed me #sirgregory after you saw how nervous I was to kiss you on our first date.
You came onto me. I can remember it. It was like being pulled into a dream. It was literally stepping into a new #dimension.
You are all I ever wanted. Until we turned away from each other. Until our trust was broken.
But I realize I did that first. I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for that one. I sure worked hard to forgive myself though. I’d say more than $500k and on going maintenance until you get on your feet is adequate.
I told you I would never marry you. How dare you file for divorce. I would never abandon you. I would never let you go hungry. I would never let your children suffer.
Your inability to trust in that one fact actually drove me crazy. Literally. I couldn’t believe that my #traveling companion would betray me.
And when you filed divorce on me.. as I was trying to have fun with my kids for ONCE…
It was really mean.
Ok. So I’ve accepted that maybe you think I’m crazy. Like your mom. That you care for. Like your grandfather cared for your grandmother.
I’m so sad that I have to continue my journey without you. Because I said I’d love you forever #bluesapphire and that goes whether you love me or not or think I’m crazy or not.
Anyway.
I’ll keep writing later. But I have a friend about to meet me. His name is #marc #gabriel and sorry if that triggered some kind of Freudian or Carl Jung superhero complex because all that I know is that God has affirmed my role and purpose in life. I doubt you will want to have anything to do with it. That’s fine. I’m ready to say goodbye. I’m so heart broken. I actually feel like Homer caught on the other glass for the OA.
Because you are not my #partner if you do not accept me.
And everything I have ever said is true.
I told you you #iam and now #iam #iwill through what I have learned on my travels.
I told you I don’t tell lies.
And I’m not crazy. Sorry to leave you. But I will not disconnect until April 20th 2023.
But I have some non starters.
First of all… I will definitely keep writing the rest of my life. It is my new passion. I don’t know if I’ll ever publish anything. That’s fine… I don’t give two shits if anyone ever reads my book.
I do care… that we walk away with you somehow believing I’m a bad guy. That’s over. You know it now. I’m good and there is nothing you can ever say or do to change that fact.
I love God. Our creator. Our source. Our whatever you want to call it. I have been hanging out with god exclusively for more than a year.
And I love you. Desperately. I wanted you since the moment I saw your picture on okCupid.
But I refuse to return to my old life. I think I’ve made that abundantly clear.
When I found myself in Mexico hiding in the shower from you I knew my past was over. I screamed. That seems to be some kind of release because when you scream it seems as though #god #creator #source actually responds.
It was a little painful having you mock me for the last 8 months or whatever. But that’s fine. Sorry that I choose the path of a non drunk.
I could write a million love stories trying to prove that my love for you was real. Clearly it was.
And I enter this next chapter of my life with a lot of hope and optimism. It is mine to win or lose.
I wrote another book. It’s really good. The sequel makes the first one look like amateur work.
And yes. I’ve had some pot. And im getting drunk tonight. And my friend is on the way over. And I don’t know where this night or life leads.
But i know if doesn’t include fighting. Ever again.
I love you jennifer. Please let me know if you would like any recommendations on how to heal but considering you already sent me a letter about how you are joining a gym the second I drove west I think you will be just fine. And I’ll never take a drug test again. Not ever.
I love you and I’ll talk to you AFTER I get to hillsong United in Loveland on Nov 12. Unless you want to go with me. If you do let me know.
Love,
Greg
Are we gonna make it?
Is this gonna hurt?
Oh, we can try to sedate it
But that never works
Yeah
I start to imagine a world where we don’t collide
It’s making me sick, but we’ll heal and the sun will rise
If you tell me you’re leaving, I’ll make it easy
It’ll be okay
If we can’t stop the bleeding
We don’t have to fix it, we don’t have to stay
I will love you either way
Ooh-ooh, it’ll be oh, be okay
Ooh-ooh
Oh, the future we dreamed of is fading to black
Oh
Oh, there’s nothing more painful
Nothing more painful, oh-woah
I start to imagine a world where we don’t collide
And it’s making me sick, but we’ll heal and the sun will rise
If you tell me you’re leaving, I’ll make it easy
It’ll be okay (It’ll be okay)
And if we can’t stop the bleeding
We don’t have to fix it, we don’t have to stay (don’t have to stay)
I will love you either way
Ooh-ooh, it’ll be oh, be okay
Ooh-ooh
I will love you either way
It might be so sweet
It might be so bitter
I will love you either way
It might be so sweet
It might be so bitter (ooh-ooh)
Oh, if the future we’ve dreamed of is fading to black
I will love you either way
I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit
Been saying “yes” instead of “no”
I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn’t though
I hit the ground running each night
I hit the Sunday matinée
You know the greatest films of all time were never made
I guess you never know, never know
And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed
And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow
And it’s alright now
But we were something, don’t you think so?
Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It would’ve been you
In my defense, I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it would’ve been fun
If you would’ve been the one
(Ooh)
I have this dream you’re doing cool shit
Having adventures on your own
You meet some #oneelse on the internet and take #him home
We never painted by the numbers, baby
But we were making it count
You know the greatest loves of all time are over now
I guess you never know, never know
And it’s another day waking up alone
But we were something, don’t you think so?
Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It would’ve been you
In my defense, I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it would’ve been fun
If you would’ve been the one
I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you
If one thing had been different
Would everything be different today?
We were something, don’t you think so?
Rosé flowing with your chosen family
And it would’ve been sweet
If it could’ve been me
In my defense, I have none
For digging up the grave another time
But it would’ve been fun
If you would’ve been the one
(Ooh)
