I Will tell you the story of how one day I watched Lost and 15 years later I woke up from a dream realizing it was about my life the whole time
It has been a while since I wrote. I’ve been too scared. Too much has happened in such a short time that part of me doesn’t want to tell anybody. Part of me wants to tell everybody. Part of me knows it doesn’t matter. Writing is for me anyway. That is the life of the #penitentwriter
What is the penitent writer? What ego did I choose in the #infinitiportal?
I chose to be Desmond. I choose to be the humble surfer who pushes a button because he believe it is his path. Because he loves Penelope #iodysseus and he knows this will be the only great thing he will ever do. #pushingbuttons
Desmond will never be a “GREAT” man. But he will be a “GOOD” man. Maybe the most good?
Was Jesus great? Or was he just Good? Couldn’t Jesus have used his knowledge and power to create an army? To build a city? To accumulate wealth? No. He instead decided to build houses. #humblecarpenter
I am Desmond. In my shadow’s pursuit to be proud of myself, I have isolated myself to the ultimate level.
I have cut out social media. I have even cut out almost all news.
I have disconnected from every relationship that wasn’t reflecting back good energy.
I literally sit on a yoga ball and push a button on my mobile phone.
I sit at a desk and push buttons for a living.
I definitely feel as though I am on the path of Desmond. That I will NEVER be a great man. But darn it all if I won’t be the most GOOD man that ever existed since Jesus. My role model.
Ah yes. Pride. It was an exhausting weekend catching that emotional demon. The root demon that I have. My default trigger. To be proud of myself. Not my parents. Not my brothers. Not my colleagues.
For awhile my partner was the source of my pride. But after my awakening and seeing my #twinflame for what it is, I am finding myself less and less triggered by her.
I stopped writing a few months ago because #iWill sent me on a special mission to apply my knowledge #iamtheword to clean up my mess from last year.
Guess what. I did. Shocker. My prayer was answered again. To be a #medium is really a sensational experience.
And now I spend every day arguing with my ego(s). How much time to I give my ego(s)? How should I direct them? To what purpose should I direct my life? To what prayer should I focus my power?
I am really proud of myself. The first day I used my new super powers I was picked up within about 12 hours by firefighters and taken to a mental institution.
(Which for the record, the lab tech told me that I looked like a greek god which was pretty wild given the fact that a couple weeks prior I had nicknamed myself Homer to write an interdimentional story about being a modern day Odysseus. And also for the record, when i refused to give them my social security number they gave me a social security number ending in 7777 which just happened to be the number I had scribbled on my chest a couple days before my imprisonment)
This time I used my powers to help the people who I loved. The people who were hurt when I pulled the rip cord of my life to discover what my own #island was once and for all.
My powers are really exciting. This incredible combination of wanting to be proud of myself and being blessed with enough gifts and blessings to see that I am. Its been really amazing to explore them for the last few months.
I admitted to my #twinflame that I was still indeed still a #traveler which was one of the first things that I said to her when we met 6 years ago. Before life got fast.
And now my brain moves so fast that it literally feels like I have learned to slow time to an absolute crawl. The combination of emotional, spiritual, and physical healing has transformed my life so dramatically and so quickly that I can’t believe it has really only been about a year since I left for Nashville #heaven
So I was Desmond. I was pushing that button based on #falseteaching
And then when things got rocky and the stress couldn’t be relieved I had to blow the failsafe. I had to turn the key. I had to look into the light.
It was a hard and painful crash from Icarus all the way to naked and crazy on the Island like Odysseus when he woke up in Phoenicia. (Which by the way is what happened to Desmond after he turned that key)
And now, just like Desmond, I shift. I shift back and forth from living in my ego back to my divine self. I do it almost every day now. I am building a routine around it. I am trying to figure out how to use my powers for good.
I have been building a calendar. A stoic one. One that reminds you that you have a limited time on this earth since you have ruled out the #jumpprogram
So I’m taking the time I need right now. Like Desmond on the beach. Like Moses in the desert. Like Jesus preparing for his ministry.
I’m going to keep hitting that button for the foreseeable future. Because I told you I would. And I keep my promises. No matter how long it takes.
Sitting in one of his ego’s Park It Here homes
Sailing toward Mt. Moriah for the second time