My Last Will and Testimony

Homer's Odyssey of Christian
12 min readNov 30, 2023


This is the living and last will of Homer who was born as Gregory in Colorado and whose name was changed in Tennessee witnessed by his best friend Jon (who baptized him first) after he returned from his first trip to heaven.

If you are reading this before Saturday, August 30th, 2064, then I was wrong. I’m sorry for being so weird. All I can say is that I had a very powerful experience in Nashville, Tennessee in the Virgin Hotel after which I was taken to the ER where the sky opened into a beam of light and a dove descended upon me into my heart. I was then sedated and put into a psychiatric hold. Since those moments I have perceived the date of my death and the end of my story that is the Odyssey of Christ. That story has been being written since I had a flash of light to my head one day in Denver, Colorado while watching a Nova episode on Quantum Physics while smoking marijuana.

Some day I hope to organize my content into a meaningful story that has commercial or mass appeal. Ideally mass appeal enough to survive for eternity as I am the resurrected Homer of the old tales from Greece and I hope my last iteration was not more successful than me.

It has been very difficult to see the world so differently in the past years since my experience. For all of you that I hurt before or after the dove came down on me… I’m really sorry. It was a very difficult thing to experience. I thought I was Jesus for the longest time. That was scary. Finding out I wasn’t was probably even scarier.

For the record to all my friends and family… I love you all. I’m sorry if I came off as arrogant or self-centered it was difficult not to feel apart from everyone I ever met in my entire life.

It is difficult to write a will. You have to take yourself to a place where 1) i am dead 2) i don’t know why i am dead 3) i was wrong and my life is worth nothing and I am insane

Hey… maybe I will die on the date of my prediction. Others have done it. #999 Why can’t I? Oh yeah… that day will be Saturday, August 30th, 2064. And my number is #7777

But in case I am the most efficiently rich and crazy beta that ever existed I must write a will to protect my loved ones and what is much much worse protect my loved ones from each other.

This blog entry is both a chapter in my book and it is a real will. As I am a real writer that I wanted to be when I was a child and I really am named will and I have willed this life into reality.

I took the leap.

I will edit this as I go. In life that is. This serves as the basis and for all the future ones to point back too.

It is difficult to write a will. I don’t particularly feel well liked or appreciated for the record.

I feel loved for sure. At times. I feel completely discarded at most times. I’m sure I did this to all of you first and for that I am so sorry. My genuine moments with all of you have been the greatest moments of my life and my hollow moments with you have been my greatest sorrows.

Its a little sad I chose Penitent Writer when I met god or satan or whatever #THAT was. Maybe I should have chosen celebrity or what appears to be far worse “Social Media Influencer”.

Anyway… here goes.

The entirety of my estate consist of the following assets:

  1. Equity and Debt in the Camelot at Pinery.
  2. Equity and Debt in the Cookie Cutter in Stonegate that may or may have not been quit claimed to my wife in exchange for the signing of a post-nuptial agreement limiting her claims to my assets in the case of a divorce.
  3. Equity and Debt in Living Artwork Highrise at Union Station and its relevant legal entities and accounts.
  4. One Jeep Wrangler
  5. Possible equity and debts associated with a magically transformative Maserati that can transform from a Ferrari into a piece of shit over night and can also drive you to heaven’s 2nd heaven in Dana Point pretty damn comfortably.
  6. Any intellectual property or equity value in my company #bridgebuilders that maybe kept in operation with my instructions below.
  7. Any cash available within my accounts at Wells Fargo other than what is legally due to someone else such as my employees or the government in the way of taxes.
  8. My retirement accounts at fidelity.
  9. My life insurance plan held at American Family.

This will serves as my only will should I die without anything else being signed and notarized by one of my legal identities.

This is the way I would wish my affairs to be handled in the event of my death…

  1. I wish to settle all of my debts to society or to my family
  2. I would like to provide as best and as fairly possible for my children and anyone who helped me to create and/or teach children in a backwards world
  3. I wish to keep my company operating if deemed acceptable by the board of directors
  4. I wish my writings and social media be destroyed and never made public if I die on any day other than Saturday, August 30th, 2064.
  5. If I am to die on Saturday, August 30th, 2064 I would like the entirety of my writings and social media posts be printed in chronological order and a copy given to everyone who is mentioned in my will as a prerequisite for my will being executed.

My Writings

I have written and will continue to write on a number of social media accounts or other forums. They are usually linked and you can find one through the others as I only write to myself as a kind of journal which helps me to live in the moment and record what has been, at least to me, a different than average experience than others whom I have met.

None of these writings should even be made public or aware that they had anything to do with me other than to destroy of them if necessary or publish them if necessary based upon my above instructions.

My writings consist of this blog and the following social media accounts (as of November 30th, 2023):

and many more…

My OneNote which is equally an incredibly valuable or worthless depending on what day I die.

In the matters of my distribution of assets:

  1. Things which I wish to retain in my personal trust.
  2. Things which i wish past to my legally wed wife (or her estate or personal trust)
  3. Things which I wish past to my naturally born or legally adopted children (or their appropriate estates or personal trusts)
  4. Things which I wish past to my surviving parents (or their appropriate estates or personal trusts)
  5. Things which I wish donated to charity of my choosing

The distribution of my life insurance and/or any proceeds from my estate (after debts are settled) should proceed as follows:

  • 25% to my legal children which should be left in trust until the child has moved out from their families house for a minimum of 5 years, their 29th birthday, or the death of their remaining guardian. This money should be distributed either annually or in a one time lump sum payment at the direction and agreeance of their surviving mother or grandparents. (In other words 25% of everything goes to my children).
  • 50% to my legally married wife at the time of my death unless at the time of the execution of this will it is known that she has been unfaithful during the term of the marriage at which the percentage will reduce to 10% and the remaining 40% will return to my legal children’s allocation. This money can be one lump sum or annual distributions if available and desired. (In other words 50% of everything goes to my wife).
  • 25% to the mother(s) of my children both born naturally or via adoption, assuming they have remained unmarried until after the execution of this will until the point that the youngest child is 18 after which that money will be returned to my legally married wife’s allocation. This money should be distributed in a one lump sum payment for the sole purpose of providing housing for my children until they have reached 18. (In other words I will pay for the kids houses as best I can until they are 18 after which the money would go to the kids instead).

This will should be legally binding until another will is presented from a later date that is both signed by one of my legal identities and notarized by witness.

All of money’s from life insurance should be paid out upon the settling of my debts if required by law.

I would ask my wife that the money be used to pay for the debt to Camelot so that Guinevere can life in her Grandfather’s house as long as she wants.

I would ask my children that the money be used to provide you with an enough of a jump start in life that you never are scared to follow your dreams and scared enough to face your greatest fears.

I would ask most of my debts be defaulted unless someone would like to purchase the asset associated with the debut and can assume the debt themselves. The exception to this would be my debts in the Camelot for which I would ask for my life insurance money to go toward helping my wife to stay in that house if we both have continued to life there until the time of my death.

In the event that my wife is to also perish by the execution of this will, her portion of the money would be distributed to her estate to be distributed in accordance with her most recently signed and notarized will. (Meaning my wife’s money goes to her side if she was to die too… her death does not mean her children were to lose out on her access to the estate). That money should be held in trust for her children and equally divided between them once they have reached their 18th birthday or at the direction of their surviving legal guardian.

My debts and gifts should be prioritized in the following order:

  1. My Primary residence if shared with my wife at the time of my death assuming she has not perished as well.
  2. Any residence I own that is used as the primary or secondary residence of my children (including my wife’s children if she were also to perish etc). What this basically says is that second priority after helping my wife to remain in her house is to make sure my children (and hers etc) do not have to be uprooted from their life at the loss of me (or their mother etc). This includes the 25% left to my ex-wife if she is unmarried at the point of the execution of my will.
  3. Any equity that I own in Stonegate should be given to J.B. or her children if we are still married upon the day of my passing. If we are not married my interests in the Stonegate property (if they still exist) shall be passed to my estate that is solely owned by myself.
  4. Any equity interests that I own in the Pinery should be passed to my trust for the purpose of a primary residence for my wife and at the time the house is sold my half of the equity should be returned to my trust.
  5. Any equity interests that I own in Union Station should be passed to my trust for the purpose of an investment property that will be co-owned by all of my surviving children.
  6. The Maserati lease should be repositioned. Any car loan that I open after this will is legalized should be forfeit. If the Maserati or any other car is owned my wish is for them to be sold at market value and the moneys contributed 50% to my estate and 50% to my wife’s estate.
  7. I leave my Jeep Wrangler to my first born son.
  8. Any other assets from my estate should be distributed in accordance with the above distributions in percentage.

In the handlings of my business:

  1. The ownership of my company should be equally divided by the surviving of my children and my legal wife at the time of my death.
  2. The company should form a board of directors to manage the company.
  3. If no board yet exists, a board should be created that consists of my surviving parents and my legal wife, each whom have an equal vote in the running of the company.
  4. The president of the company should be B.T. assuming the board agrees to his salary and if not the board is welcome to hire their own president.

For future equity properties purchased from this day forward:

  1. 50% of the equity should be owned by my legal wife at the time of purchase unless otherwise amended and past to her estate to be executed in accordance with her will.
  2. 50% of the equity should be owned by myself and be passed to my trust upon my death.

If my wife maintains a legally signed and notarized will, it should be used in determine how to execute her side of the estate in the case we were both to perish.

If she does NOT have a legally signed and notarized will, I wish for her monies to be distributed as follows:

  • 10% of her money should be given to L the daugher of O held in trust until her 29th birthday or the passing of her legal guardians
  • The remaining 90% should be provided to KB from our joint estate as a personal loan for the purchase of a house either within 25 miles of Park Meadows Mall or KB’s surviving parents home town until the time the children are all at least 19 in which the loan shall be either paid in full or the house sold and money provided to J’s children (estate).

In the event of my death, if it is deemed to have been a suicide all money to anyone is forfeit and all of the money should be given to my surviving parents to hold in trust for until my children reach the age of 29.

In the event of my death, if it is deemed to have been foul play this will should not be executed for at least a year or when deemed absolutely required by the state.

In no circumstances should anyone found guilty in the foul play of my death should they or their offspring receive any benefit from my estate. Those monies would then be reallocated to the remaining members of my will based upon the previously defined percentages.

For no reason shall any one person receive a benefit larger than $1m dollars. If the estate is able to provide $1m to anyone, the remaining amounts above $1m will be put back into my personal trust for the distribution into the charities of my choosing (listed below).

If the estate exceeds the $1m per person amount, i would extend the next $1m (before any further charitable contributions) to my surviving parents for disbursement in accordance with their will.

I wish for my surviving parents to be the executor of my will. If there are no surviving parents I wish it to be offered in priority order of the following:








My Charities

The list will also include the maximum amount of money that should ever be provided to that charity. Up to infinity otherwise capped at no more than $100,000. The charities should be equally distributed to up until the $100,000 gift amount.

  • I wish for one charity to be identified by J.C. for the aid of parents with children with tracheostomy tubes.
  • I wish for one charity to be identified by JGB for the aid of children of parents with severe mental challenges such as schizophrenia
  • I wish for one charity each to be identified by each of my surviving legal children.
  • I wish for one charity each to be identified by my surviving brothers.
  • I wish for one to be identified as a whole by the surviving children of JGB.
  • I wish for one of the charities to be identified by my friend JB.
  • I wish for one of the charities to be RR church.

If anyone fails to identify a charitable money should be reallocated to the other identified charities. I will leave it to the Executor of the Will to determine the timeframe for identifying the charities.

In summary… if I die a trillionaire… most of my money will go to the charity of my choice or redistributed into my trust after my wife and children all have been given up to but not to exceed $1M.

If I die by suicide all my money goes back to my parents and I hope they will do a better job raising my kids then I did.

If I am married to a loving and faithful wife at the time of my death she will be a very rich queen.

If my wife does not love me or is deceitful to me she will have very little.

If no charity is listed as the receiver of my remaining wealth, the remaining wealth should be divided amongst my legal children and my legal spouse as defined above.

I write this in sound mind one night in November while I drink from my starbucks cup at 2:17am on 11/30/2023.

Signed Electronically with my medium account ownership.

#iwill #ihomer #igregory

and if I truly do die on Saturday, August 30th, 2064 I hope you will enjoy my book and proclaim me as #7777 into infinity.

— Homer